Hibernation can be an alluring thought.
For like a bear retreating to it’s cave for the Winter, cutting all our ties with others in search of introspection promises us time to get to know ourselves away from the endless onslaught of other people’s opinions.
Relent to it’s attraction and you’ll end the bombardment of thought pieces, podcast gurus and edutainment that has consumed us all.
Or at least that’s the theory.
But, the reality is a little different.
Redefine the Question
Ghost Mode is a term ironically rooted in the always-on Snapchat app, where you can hide your location and go off-grid. Often combined with Monk Mode, Grindset or any other form of ultra self-discipline it aims to give your life a full reset so you can emerge once again like a butterfly after metamorphosis.
Why you’d go ‘ghost mode’ is usually for 2 reasons:
Escape the overwhelm of daily life to find yourself.
Grind away and become a better version of who you already are.
Both are very valid goals in which disappearing to solitude can help.
You’ll have the headspace to reset your decisions on who you let influence you, rebuild meaningful habits and make leaps towards your goals.
At least that was my experience when I moved back home for 5 months post break-up in October last year. I’d lost sight of my purpose in the rhythms of daily life and I needed realignment. So, I spent A LOT of time with myself. I read. I trained. I reflected. And I figured out what I wanted from the world.
However, soon enough I had to confront the reality that the longer term question I faced wasn’t “how do I rediscover the best version of myself?”
But instead “how do I best integrate who I truly am into the life I want?”
And that, my friends, requires other people.
The Isolation-Integration Paradox
To create original ideas you need time with your own thoughts.
Isolated and focused on a problem of your choosing, the learnings that you’ll uncover and the solutions that you’ll create will be inherently unique.
You’ll find your distinct voice, free from the influence of others.
But, you’ll also probably find, as I have, that without regular interaction with others your ideas increasingly lose touch with reality as the idealist in us paints a picture of what ‘should be’ rather than ‘what is’ and ‘could be’.
So, we need to also appreciate the value of collaboration.
Others can help us brainstorm better alternatives, recognise our own biases and make the creation process infinitely more interesting along the way.
However, there’s a paradox with this…
We must find our own way, whatever it is, to make these adjustments to reality without ever losing touch with our original spark of inspiration.
There are no perfect ways to do this.
The one I’ve found that works for me is to obsess over the problem and not the solution. This allows me to iterate until I find the best approach without ever steering too far away from what led me down the path in the first place.
For more context drop the below article a read.
Embracing Others Again
The world can be a difficult place.
Full of obstacles, challenges and hardship that awaits around every corner, it will test us time and time again. And we’ll lose a part of ourselves along the way that can only be rediscovered through time with our own brain. Sometimes this will mean retreating from our family, friends and loved ones until we have the strength to re-embrace who we are once more. And that’s okay. We’re allowed to slow-down. It’s our own life.
However, once we feel able to re-integrate back into society again we must do so. For every ambition we have to create a meaningful life for ourselves and the myriad of people we want to positively impact along the way requires our interaction with other human beings. There is no escape from it. And the sooner we embrace it’s necessity, the sooner we can selectively choose the right people to play long-term games with who will amplify our talents and allow us to reach our potential.