Do you ever feel like quitting all your commitments? Upending your entire existence? And giving yourself the time to actually breathe before making one, let alone a million, decisions in the blink of an eye?
If so, you’re not alone.
On some days I completely feel the same. Caught in the fantasy of a peaceful life, I find myself dreaming of slower days. Ones where I can live without a care in the world. Being present in every moment of each day. And never having to even think about where life will take me. Because I’m simply living.
For right now my imagination is fixed on the beauty of moving to a quaint Spanish town like Girona and spending almost everyday riding bikes, running, reading and writing in the Summer sun. I mean, surely you can’t tell me that’s not at least a teeny weeny bit enticing to you?
It doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to work out what’s likely going on inside my head… a combination of a desire for a break from routine and a memory of happy times from Girona last year are feeding the daydream.
But, to what extent should we turn these imaginations into reality?
That’s the important question.
4 And a Half Months (x2)
Is exactly how long I embraced the slower life for.
Not once. But, twice. In less than two years.
Firstly as I packed all the clothes I could ever need into a suitcase, moved out of my parents place and lived Airbnb to Airbnb across the UK, staying for about a month at a time in Bristol, Plymouth, Reading and Edinburgh. Chosen for their different lifestyles and good running routes (I know, I know…), each experience introduced me to something new.
From the long chats with a spiritual Airbnb host to becoming close friends with an elderly couple and deciding to sign-up for an Ironman after catching Covid, it was all pretty life-changing.
And secondly as I once again packed up what I could carry and moved back to my hometown Shrewsbury in October last year. This time building a physical fitness I’d never experienced before, reading more books than I could count and taking big steps in committing my career to the future of work. It was exactly what I needed. At the exact moment I needed it.
Though, for neither decision, I had no idea where the outcome would lead me. Instead, I listened to the desire bubbling beneath the surface, trusted myself and took action. Each time breaking the routines that had enabled me to be effective and requiring me to find a new rhythm for life once again.
Ignoring the Imaginations
But, life isn't as simple as following your daydreams.
Instead of bringing you closer to your solutions, sometimes they’ll only propel you further from your problems. The motivation for change can just as easily be grounded in escaping from the difficulty of the challenge ahead as it can be in the break from the monotony of life.
Knowing which is which… That’s the key to Mastery.
Here’s how…
Delay The Decision
You don’t need to act today.
The persistency of the dream is a telling sign.
If it’s an attempt at fleeting procrastination from your problems it’ll slowly disintegrate into the abyss over time.
But, if it’s a deep rooted desire for change that needs to be acted upon it’ll linger long after you’ve overcome the challenges immediately ahead of you.
Change Your Days
Start small first.
Look at the life you currently have and find ways to improve your everyday existence. Say “yes” to new experiences and “no” to old ways of thinking.
Sometimes the symptom of seeking a slower life can be resolved through a change very much within our immediate control. Whether it’s a new sport, meaningful connection or just spending our weekends in better ways, uprooting everything and starting again isn’t our only answer.
Take Intense Relaxation
Other times we’re simply stressed.
Our pursuit of the challenge ahead has pushed us beyond our comfort zone and we need a break. And it’s not necessarily the quarter life crisis kind.
But, the intense, complete switch-off sort. Ones where we go camping in the woods with friends and leave all our worries behind. Forgetting about everything and being present with the experience in-front of us, relaxing in this way is all about intensity of time rather than length.
Summary
If delaying your decision, changing your days and taking intense relaxation does nothing to stop your imagination, it’s probably time to take action.
Your gut is telling you something is wrong and it’s now your mission to find out what exactly it is. Talk through each of the areas that concern you with your friends and you’ll find an answer.
But, beware the can of worms you’ll open. Once you make a drastic change in one area of your life the chances are that others will follow. The façade of your life will drop. All your compromises will be laid bare. And the routine and decisions of your life will slip into freefall.
Change is hard. So, if (or more accurately when) you decide to follow your dreams of change go easy on yourself. Be patient with the new you. And trust that one step back will lead to two steps forward. It just takes some time.
Needed to read this today 🔓